527: Self-worth is an inside job


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Episode Summary

Self-worth is an inside job, but so many of us were taught to look outside of ourselves to feel valuable. In this episode, I’m talking about what self-worth really is, where it comes from, and how appearance, performance, perfectionism, people-pleasing, codependency, and outside validation can shape the way we see ourselves.

I also share part of my own story of growing up with my worth tied to beauty and appearance, and how that eventually led me on a deeper journey of building real self-worth from within.

You’ll learn how to come back to fact and truth when comparison or self-judgment starts to spiral, how to practice self-validation in small everyday moments, and how to help children build healthy self-worth by validating who they are, not just what they do.

Key Takeaways

  • Self-worth is not something you have to earn

  • Looking outside of yourself for your worth leads to unhealthy patterns and relationships

  • Appearance, performance, helping, perfectionism, and people-pleasing can all become ways we try to feel worthy

  • Codependency can make our identity and self-worth feel tied to helping others

  • Children build self-worth through what is modeled and reflected back to them

  • Validating children for who they are is more powerful than only praising what they do

  • Comparison is not always the problem. The problem is when comparison turns into self-judgment

  • Stories are not fact and truth, and they can send us into anxiety, overwhelm, and awfulizing

  • You have the power to choose which thoughts you latch onto

  • Changing your physical state can help interrupt a negative emotional spiral

  • Small daily validations matter, even if no one else sees them

  • Healthy self-worth is built from the inside out

Self-Worth

Self-worth is the internal knowing that you have value simply because you are you. It is not based on how you look, how much you achieve, how perfectly you perform, how many people like you, or how much you do for others.

Related Episodes

You may also enjoy:

524: The Keys to Self-Worth That Most People Miss
498: Dating Yourself: The Ultimate Self Worth Reset
470: Four Habits That Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

Resources from this Episode:

Free Self-Worth Masterclass:
https://theadultchair.com/selfworth

The Adult Chair® Metamorphosis Live Event:
https://theadultchair.com/liveevents

More Adult Chair:

The Adult Chair® Membership

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

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526: Empty Nest, New Chapter: Who You Become When the Kids Leave