519: How to Process Negative Emotions Without Getting Stuck


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Episode Summary

In this episode, I’m talking about one of the questions I hear all the time: What do we do with negative emotions?

So many of us have been taught to push away, numb, judge, or “get rid of” emotions like anger, grief, sadness, fear, rage, and frustration. But the truth is, emotions are not bad. They are part of being human, and they are meant to move through us.

I talk about why we develop resistance to certain emotions, especially when we grew up receiving messages that our feelings were too much, wrong, annoying, or unsafe. When we are not taught how to process emotions, we often reach for ways to numb out, distract, avoid, or blame others for what we are feeling.

Key Takeaways

  • Emotions are part of being human, and we are meant to feel a full range of them

  • Many of us learned to block, judge, or numb our emotions because of messages we received growing up

  • “Negative emotions” are not bad. They are simply emotions on the fear end of the emotional spectrum

  • Fear can protect us, anger can help us access power, and sadness can give us important information about our inner world

  • Emotions are energy, and when we allow them to move through the body, they can shift and transform

  • The 90-second rule reminds us that intense emotions can move through us quickly when we do not block them or attach a story to them

  • Journaling helps us witness our inner world, process emotions, and gain clarity

Processing Negative Emotions

The way through difficult emotions is not to avoid them, numb them, or blame someone else for them. The way through is to feel them.

When an emotion comes up, you may know exactly what you are feeling, such as anger, grief, sadness, rage, or frustration. Other times, you may only notice a physical sensation, like a knot in your stomach, tightness in your chest, a closing in your heart, or resistance in the body. These sensations are often signals that something emotional is asking for your attention.

Related Episodes

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359: Why and How to Feel Your Emotions
370: End Your Ruminating Thoughts with Parts Work
494: Shift From Victim to Empowered with One Simple Question

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518: The Missing Piece to Manifesting Your Reality